If I don’t run, I cry.

As a kid, my mother always shoved me out the door to go for a walk around the block when I started acting out.  I was an unusually excitable child (nothing has changed there, ahem..)  and she always said I needed to get outside and get my ya-ya’s out when I was starting to have a meltdown.

I still need to get my ya-ya’s out.  My angst, my sadness, my anxiety.  All of it. The only thing that focuses me is the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement.

The people in my life who love me most can definitely tell when I have not run for a while, and nothing could be as bad as this fall and winter.

I could not get the energy to run, and the deep coldness of this winter made it even worse.  I was sleeping constantly, feeling worthless and uninspired.  I could hardly move for all the weight and sadness I felt on top of me.  Something needed to be done.

I had access to Al’s treadmill, but I HATE treadmills. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.  For a person with ADD treadmills are terrifying.  I keep thinking I am going to get distracted by some sort of ***squirrel*** and fall off of it. I digress…

One day I put aside my disdain for those soul sucking hamster devices, crawled off the couch, and started running on my boyfriend’s awesome clothing rack  treadmill.

And I started getting my shit together. It felt so good.  I started getting up at a decent hour, getting editing & writing done, I actually wanted to take photos, and I was feeling human again.

A few months later, I am off the treadmill,  back outside and on the pavement.  It feels amazing.  And my ya-ya’s are being managed effectively ;).

Running is my sanity – what’s yours?

(Join me on Runkeeper if you’re on it!)